Ask Father: What is spiritual direction?

The practice of spiritual direction has a long tradition in the Catholic Church. It was first practiced by the Desert Fathers as early as the 3rd Century. While for much of its history, priests, monks, and religious sisters were the normal recipients of spiritual direction; the modern use of it has extended to all the faithful. Before laying out how to find a spiritual director, it is important to know what it is and why it is important. Spiritual direction is the practice of assisting a person to help them understand them self and, with divine grace, to grow in the practice of Christian virtue.

Spiritual direction allows a person more time to discuss their life than is possible in the Sacrament of Confession. While the practice has often been tied to Confession, a spiritual director does not necessarily have to be a priest or one’s regular confessor. The person should be a qualified man or woman, who has been recommended by the Church. It is very important to prayerfully and prudently consider when and with whom one enters into a spiritual direction relationship.

If one feels that God is calling them to pursue finding a spiritual director, the first step is to meet with the Pastor. This is important for a two reasons. First, by discussing one’s particular circumstances, the Pastor can better understand the spiritual needs the person wants to address. This helps the Pastor determine a good director for the particular person or if he can take on the person himself. The second reason is that it is important to determine if one wants a male or female director. Many men prefer a male spiritual director and women prefer a female director, but this is not always the case. The goal either way is to find someone that you feel comfortable enough with to share and trust your personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This is a heavy responsibility for both parties.

The intimate relationship formed in spiritual direction must never be taken lightly. That is why it is important to discern both in prayer and with the Pastor how to pursue direction. This is also why it is important to continue to discern whether or not the relationship is working once spiritual direction has begun. If you have an interest in spiritual direction, please contact the rectory and Father Romans will be happy to help you begin this journey.

Ask Father: Do weddings have to be performed inside a Church?

Once again, this is more complicated than the question seems. First let us understand what marriage is. Marriage is a practice common to all cultures in all ages. It is, therefore, a natural institution, something common to all mankind. At its most basic level, marriage is a union between a man and a woman for the purpose of procreation and mutual support, or love. Each spouse in a marriage gives up some rights over his or her life in exchange for rights over the life of the other spouse.

Now to the question submitted: The "straight answer" is simply "yes," but let’s understand also the "why."

In the Sacrament of Marriage, a baptized Christian man exchanges vows with a baptized Christian woman. Before Almighty God, they promise to each other a love that is faithful, permanent, exclusive, self-sacrificing and life-giving. Through marriage, a couple now enters into a new public state of life both in the eyes of the Church and society; therefore, the celebration of the marriage rightfully ought to be public with the vows exchanged before a priest, and the faithful gathered for the ceremony. (Cf. Catechism, No. 1663.) Given this basis, a Catholic (either baptized as a Catholic or later entering the Catholic Church after having already been baptized in another Christian denomination) is bound to be married in the Catholic Church. The Church in which one has been baptized and confirmed, receives Holy Communion and professes faith, ought to be the Church in which one is married. Consequently, whether a Catholic is marrying a Catholic or a baptized nonCatholic Christian, the normal expectation is for the marriage to take place in the Catholic Church and for the children to be raised in the Catholic faith.

However, when a Catholic is marrying a non-Catholic but baptized Christian, legitimate circumstances may arise where the couple would like to be married in the Church of the non-Catholic. Such special circumstances include recognizing a special or long-standing relationship with a minister, or preventing family alienation. In such a case, the couple would complete the regular Catholic marriage preparation, and with the permission of the Archbishop, can then be married in a different situation. The Catholic party would also attest to his intention of not leaving the Catholic Church and of promising to baptize and raise the children in the Catholic faith. The nonCatholic party would be informed of these promises, attest to understanding these promises and in turn promise not to interfere in their fulfillment. The Church requires a dispensation because the Archbishop, as shepherd of the archdiocese and guardian of the souls, must insure that the couple is prepared as best as possible for marriage and is ready to enter into Holy Matrimony. With such permission, the wedding is valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. (Cf. Code of Canon Law, No. 1124-25).

If a Catholic enters marriage outside of the Catholic Church without the necessary dispensation, then the marriage is considered invalid and is not recognized by the Church. I am surprised by how many people are unaware of this obligation. Too often, couples register in the parish indicating that they were not married in the Church. It never ceases to amaze me how some never realized they had to be married in the Catholic Church or first receive the proper dispensation to be married elsewhere. Sadly, some of these people then resent the fact that the Church considers their marriages invalid and that they will have to follow the proper steps to have them validated. Clearly, pastors, parents and religious educators need to stress the importance of marriage in the Church to those entrusted to their care.

Apologetics: Conscience

Conscience is man’s most secret core, and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths. It is a judgment of reason by which a person recognizes the good or evil quality (morality) of his or her actions. A well-formed conscience is upright and truthful; everyone must work to form his or her conscience to the best of their ability. All people are obliged to obey their conscience when they are certain about a judgment. As Catholics, the Word of God and the Magisterium of the Church (teaching office of the Pope and bishops) is a light for our path as we work to cultivate our conscience during our lives. We integrate Scripture and Tradition in faith and prayer and put it into practice so that we develop a well-formed conscience. Freedom of conscience is a great gift that we must treasure both as Catholics and Americans, and is best valued when formed and used properly as intended by our Creator.